“Bravely take hold of the real, not dallying now with what might be. Not in the flight of ideas but only in action is freedom. Make up your mind and come out into the tempest of the living.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dear Cam:

I want to start this letter by thanking you for the most exciting season in the 21-year history of the Carolina Panthers. You are an extraordinary young man and I appreciate the passion, excellence and fun you bring to your work as a professional quarterback. And it is inspiring to see the fit between you and the Panthers organization — I believe you bring out the best in each other, and I am looking forward to what you will accomplish in future seasons in the NFL. But nothing.

You know how he feels

Like Panther fans everywhere, I watched the Super Bowl with anticipation and interest, believing that you and the team remained within striking distance of victory until the final moments. When the game ended, I appreciated your congratulating Peyton Manning on his victory — a gracious and sportsmanlike act that reflected well on you as a man and as a competitor.

The reason for this letter has only to do with the press conference after the game.

“If you don’t get the facts, the facts will get you.”

Lots of us watched the post-game press conference, and could identify with the disappointment so evident in your expression. Who could blame you? And it’s certainly understandable that after such a frustrating defeat that you wouldn’t feel like answering reporters’ questions. So, the one-word answers and the — there simply is no better word — sullen demeanor appeared to be at the lower end of the acceptable range of post-game reactions. But when you abruptly walked out, well, you know what happened after that.

Your fans were in an uncomfortable position, having to defend what appeared indefensible. At its most basic level the reasoning was that losing is part of the game, and answering questions for reporters is part of what pros get paid to do. And it seemed everyone from retired players to armchair jocks offered their harshest judgment of you — lots of it in print and more of it on social media.Worst of all, some of the condemnation came from your own fans.

But then more facts emerged. We all learned that the league set up your press conference right next to that of a Broncos player –who in his exuberance crowed about shutting your offense down. And we learned that you chose to get up and leave rather than listening to any more of it.

So why comment at all?

To your credit, you have said that you want to use the platform given you to be a role model for young people. Living in the Charlotte area, I’ve seen how you make it a point to speak to and encourage kids on and off the field, so it’s not something you only talk about.

It’s just this: sometimes even when you know you’re right, you have to do more. Not just doing right, but avoiding the appearance of wrongdoing. Too many young people wear Cam Newton jerseys for you ever to believe they aren’t striving to be just like you.

In my opinion, you do not owe anyone an apology for being a fierce competitor, or for taking a Super Bowl loss hard — you’re human, and it’s good for kids to know that even heroes have bad days. But what these young ones need from you is to see you modeling hope and resilience. They see what to them looks like Cam Newton being a sore loser, so they conclude that’s how they should behave. You’re so far from done, but kids don’t know that. And as you’ve seen, the public makes up its mind and doesn’t play fair.

And this is where you need to summon your resolve, Cam. Nobody likes losing, though I think you like it less than most people. Don’t change how you feel about losing — change how you act on those occasions when you lose. Don’t allow yourself to get labeled as a sore loser by making the tag seem correct. Besides, it drives your critics crazy when they see they can’t get to you.

My recommendation

I suggest you have a press conference in Charlotte — where you can choose the time and place and be in comfortable surroundings — and answer all the questions, even the dumb ones. Smile. Provide some substance to the terse answers you gave on Sunday. During that press conference you could, if you choose to, speak to the example you set in that one episode and explain to your young fans how you and they can plan to do it better. Cast a vision for the future.

You are so far from having peaked, and I am excited for all you will accomplish in life — during and after your playing career. People have short attention spans and short memories, so you don’t have to do anything I’ve recommended here. Most likely, you will lose nothing. However, if you want to be a good influence — a role model — to the kids who look up to you, and have the confidence of their parents, this is what I recommend.

So how about you? How can you set a positive example for the ones who are looking to you for guidance? Add your comments below.